Humble Tidbits of Vacuity

There’s a new librarian at our neighborhood library. I’m not too fond of her. Recently, our library changed their “Items On Hold” procedures. In the past, you requested material, they called or e-mailed saying it was there, you went to pick it up, and they would get it off the shelf for you. The little slips of paper had the patron and the patron’s library card number on it, so they were able to just type the number in the computer and it really wasn’t necessary to give them your library card. I was able to pick up my wife’s books for here and she was able to pick up mine.

Now…when you’re informed your material is waiting, you have to go get it yourself from the Items On Hold shelf. They’re clearly labeled with your name so you can find it…but your library card number is no longer printed on the slip. This is so people just can’t swipe other patron’s material. The side effect is that the library staff no longer has the card information readily available and it must be provided by the patron. So far, I’m OK with that.

Except that this new librarian has given me several different stories when I try to pick up my wife’s stuff. First, it was that you actually needed to present the patron’s card. I could only pick up my wife’s stuff if I had her card. This, she said, was because there have apparently been divorce circumstances where vengeful spouses have picked up their soon-to-be-ex-significant-other’s material and then thrown them away, thereby racking up huge fines. She had no answer when I pointed out that I could perhaps murder my wife, take her library card, and check out material with the intent to steal it. She let it go, since it was a new system and I was obviously unprepared for it.

Several days later, I showed up to get more material and I had my wife’s card with me. And to put your mind at ease, no…I had not murdered her. Anyway, THIS time I was told that I didn’t actually need her card, as long as I could provide the library card number (which is something I can do due to our extensive use of the library website which required you to login with your card number). Again, she had no answer when I suggested that this didn’t solve the problem she originally presented me with. If we WERE getting divorced, I could still get my wife’s material and incur unbelievable fines if I just provided the card number. I decided to be an asshole kind of guy and pointed out that her original explanation to me (divorce situations) was either a mistake on her part or an intentional lie, and I just wanted to know which one it was. Of course, she said that she was a mistake on her part. Pushing it further, I said that was an odd mistake of reasoning to make, considering the obvious reason of the number not being available on the slip so the patron must provide it.

Then there was the time that material for both my wife and I were available. I brought it all up to the desk to check out. I handed her my books first and told her my card number. No problems occurred. Then I handed her my wife’s books and was told that if I wanted to check out her books, I needed to have her actual card. I pointed out that I hadn’t needed my actual card just moment ago when I checked out my books. THIS time she explained that she had no way of knowing if it was actually my wife’s card or not. I told her that the name would come up on the screen. She said that it’s possible that I would be providing a card number for a fictitious person and possibly be guilty of a third degree felony which is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of up to $10,000. She had no answer when I asked her how having the actual card in my hands could change that possibility, considering she’d get the same screen on her computer whether she hand typed the number in or scanned it in off the card. She then said that if a patron wants to allow material to be picked up by another patron, then there must be a written permission slip on file.

At that point, I’d had enough. I told her to get the manager. Now, I’ve known the manager for years. I told her that I understood the lady was new and that she’s just doing her job and that since she doesn’t know me she’s understandably wary about letting someone check out another patron’s material. That wasn’t my problem. My problem was all of the different stories and reasons I was being given in an effort to dissuade me. If she would have said, “Sorry, not allowed to do that,” I’d have been cool with that. I’d have gotten around it by talking with the manger, but I’d have been OK with the new girl following her rules. Just don’t come up with all these made up reasons and excuses that are so easily thwarted.

This post was hand-crafted especially for you by Kevin at 1:19 PM |