Humble Tidbits of Vacuity

OK, I’d like to retract almost everything I said in my last post. It’s not that I don’t want to do anything when I’m on vacation. It’s just that I don’t want to have the vacation activities all planned out with a laundry list of things that MUST be done before vacation ends.

This vacation ended up being a “So what do you want to do today?” kind of thing. It turned into that because of the other family that we were sharing the cabin with.

Going on vacation with another family is always difficult. Your family has habits and attitudes, the other family has habits and attitudes…and sometimes they mesh well. But more often than not, they don’t mesh and there is some sort of adjustment period.

This family we went with…I just knew that our habits and attitudes were not going to make for a smooth problem free vacation. They are fine people, and very fun to be around. But spending a week, living in the same cabin, was going to cause some sort of friction.

Knowing what I know of this family, I told my wife that she needed to understand that we weren’t going to be on vacation WITH them…we were just going to be on vacation in the same area and happened to be sharing the same living space.

Unfortunately, my wife didn’t agree with my assessment and continued to believe that we were on vacation WITH this other family. Not that I fault her for that. If you’re going somewhere with people, there is typically some implied understanding that there will be plenty of shared activities. Certainly there will be times when someone wants to do their own thing, but in general, you want to believe you’re there WITH them.

Guess whose assessment was correct? Yep. Mine.

The other family we were there with is a very...um…fast…family. There are all about getting to the destination as quickly as possible, hanging out for a few seconds, and then leaving as quickly as possible. Our family isn’t like that. We tend to enjoy the journey as much as the destination.

Example: A hike to a waterfall. We started the hike as the same time. My family was three quarters of the way to the falls, and the other family was already on their way back. They saw the hike a simply something you had to do to get to the falls. The falls were the sole purpose of the hike. We, on the other hand, took the time to point out to our kids examples of erosion, fallen trees, a mantis eating some other insect, boulders and how they may have ended up in the woods, and just all sorts of stuff. So, it took us longer to complete the hike.

Now, I will say that I believe that my wife does end up spending more time than I believe is necessary at places, be it the grocery store or a waterfall. But that is who she is. Often, I fail at displaying the kind of patience that is necessary for this and end up displaying my exasperation when she says something like, “Just one more thing…or two.” Of course, the “one more thing or two” ends up translating to 10 more things or maybe another 30-45 minutes…but she is who she is. ANYWAY…

My wife kept feeling pressured to either keep up with this other family or leave someplace before she was ready to, because she didn’t want to keep this other family waiting. So, in a complete reversal, I was the one arguing to stay wherever we were. I knew that she wasn’t “done.” Every time, I kept reminding her that she needs to let go of the idea that we were doing these activities WITH the other family and we just needed to have our vacation.

That was just one example. The whole week was filled with things like that. The end result was that we either didn’t do some of the things we would like to have done, or we didn’t spend as much time as we’d have liked to doing the things we did.

I could say that the other family was rigidly set in their ways and had no regard for our plans or the things we wanted to do. But that would only be true if I believed that we were on vacation WITH them.

I could say that the other family expected us to adjust to THEIR way of doing things, instead of making some adjustments of their own. But that would only be true if I believe that we were on vacation WITH them.

But I also believe that just going on this type of vacation…to the Smoky Mountains…was an adjustment for them. They are a family that needs to be entertained. There needs to be some kind of outside source (such as TV, video games, movie theater, etc) or some kind of equipment (pool table, board game, etc) to engage their interest. I can understand how visiting Clingman's Dome, or touring Cades Cove, or going on a Park Ranger led hike where he talks about all the things around you and how precarious the balance of nature is, could be boring.

This just wasn’t the right kind of vacation for our two families.

This post was hand-crafted especially for you by Kevin at 3:34 PM |