Humble Tidbits of Vacuity

This past Saturday, we were invited out by a couple of friends of ours. They suggested getting a sitter for the night and we’d head over to Newport on the Levee for dinner and whatever. We don’t get much of an opportunity to get out without the kids, but we were able to work it out (kids spent the night at Grandma’s) and off we went.

For those who don’t know, Newport on the Levy is an entertainment complex that played a HUGE part in turning Newport, KY from “Cincinnati’s asshole” to one of the happening places to be. Newport, KY has done what Cincinnati has failed to do time and time again: turn their downtown area into someplace people want to go. People don’t go to downtown Cincy because there’s nothing to do there. Sure, there’s a restaurant or 6. But downtown is not a place where people go to “hang out” and do things and spend money and socialize. Newport on the Levee is just such a place, and I think it’s great that a run-down little village stepped up and did something to get people coming. Cincinnati, meanwhile, debates stupid stuff like dog parks or a ferris wheel.

Anyway…we went to Newport on the Levee and ate at a place called Jefferson Hall. I gotta tell ya, I wasn’t impressed. I didn’t really enjoy the dinner for a couple of reasons. For one thing, the popcorn shrimp was way to crunchy. Now, I don’t expect too much from bar food, which is the kind of place this is, but eating popcorn shrimp shouldn’t remind you of eating Grape-Nuts. Also, they brought me a Rum-and-Coke instead of just a regular Coke. My first clue that something was amiss should have been when they sent the drinks in front of us. My wife’s water and our friends’ beers came in these big 32 ounce plastic cups and I had a 6-ounce glass tumbler. Being the sophisticated drinker that I am, I thought, “Well that’s odd. Surely, beer is more expensive than Coke, so how can they have more than me? What a thing to skimp on.” My second clue should have been the little swizzle straw. But, with my astute mind and all, I thought, “OK, small glass, small straw.” I sucked a mouthful through it. Instantly, I thought, “Ugh, their Coke syrup isn’t working, it’s just carbonated water.” Then I swallowed, and it all became clear. I pushed it to the center of the table and proclaimed, “That isn’t Coke.”

I called the waitress back and got it all straightened out, but that god-awful taste would not leave. Even through the popcorn shrimp, the bacon cheese fries, the onion rings, and the ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery…that taste would not go away. There were several times that I felt like I was gonna throw up. God, it was bad.

Newport on the Levee itself? Umm….it’s more of less just a big mall. Whoopee. After the ice cream, we kinda milled about aimlessly asking, “So waddya wanna do now?” There was talk of a movie, cuz there are movie theaters there. Now, movies are out of the question no matter what because they’re just way too expensive, and my wife and I were already concerned because we had spent a lot of money on the parking and the bad dinner. My rule for the cinema used to be no movies after 6pm, cuz that’s when the matinee prices stopped, but those prices aren’t that good either. Last movie I went to was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, because you make exceptions when your kids are involved. Even though both the new James Bond movie and the new Spider-Man movie are coming out within the next seven months, the next movie I’ll probably go to the theater for is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (again, the kids). So the price, along with the fact that there was nothing that really struck our interest, took the movie right out of the equation.

The Funnybone Comedy Club came up in conversation. Each ticket twice as much as the movie would have been. I kept repeating in my head, “Please let it be too late, please let the show have already started, please let it have started, please, please.” Whew. The show had already started and the next one wasn’t for another 2 hours 15 minutes. So we just stood around, still asking, “So waddya wanna do?”

There was a Gameworks there. The problem with that is you can’t go into a place like that and expect to have any good time for less than $20 to $25 per person. Sure, they sell game cards for $1 or $5 that give you a certain amount of points, but those will be used ::SNAP:: just like that. And that’d be goofy…going in, dropping $5, playing 2 games, and then leaving. What’s the point in that?

Well, it had been about a half hour of us standing around with our thumbs up our butts saying, “So, waddya wanna do?” Finally, the suggestion was made to go back over to Cincinnati to a sort of upscale neighborhood bar (far away from downtown) to hear a fellow parent from school sing. Every Saturday, he plays guitar and sings at this neighborhood bar. So we went. My wife and I got Cokes and the other couple we were with got beers and we just sat, chit-chatted about nothing in particular and listened to this guy sing. We stayed for about an hour and then left.

I’m glad we got to go out kid-free and spend time with our friends without having to worry about getting back at a certain time, even though we ended up back home by 10:30. I’m fairly certain that the couple we were with thought that we were the most boring people on the planet. But oh well. Had we done more than we did, it would have cost us well over $100. I simply don’t understand where people get the kind of disposable income it takes to got out to places like that and do those things. As it is, we ended up spending about $65, which, believe you me, is a bit more than we were really able to spend.

This post was hand-crafted especially for you by Kevin at 3:53 PM | 3 of the live studio audience members commented already

So, a few days ago Rush Limbaugh made a comment about a political spot that Michael J. Fox did for Missouri Senate Candidate Claire McCaskill (D). In this political ad, which you can view by clicking here, good ol’ MJF is exhibiting his symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease…shaking and moving all around while talking about stem cell research and its importance to those afflicted with Parkinson’s.

Rush didn’t agree with the ad. He thought it was exploitive and even made the following comment: "He's either off his medication or acting. He is an actor after all." He also stated that he felt as though MJF was “exaggerating the effects of the disease.” That got everyone up in arms and it’s been a big to-do in all of the news publications, shows, Interweb sites, gossip over backyard fences, etc etc.

Rush has since apoligized, stating, "I will bigly, hugely admit that I was wrong."

That’s all well and good, but I think that people are missing the REAL story here.

You see, at the end of the political advert, MJF says, "What you do in Missouri matters to millions of Americans. Americans like me." The last time I looked, MJF is Canadian.

This post was hand-crafted especially for you by Kevin at 10:14 AM | 4 of the live studio audience members commented already

One of the comments on my Monday October 16 post read thusly:

Cousin of Guy said...
In regards to your comment:"I simply don’t understand why people are inclined to stick something up on the school website that recounts fond memories of the times that were shared 20 years ago."

Aren't you doing the very thing that you say people shouldn't do? Like you said-- "That kind of thing should be for people who really knew this guy…his parents, wife, family, and friends of his".

YOU really can't talk smack against those that choose to remember Bear the way he "was 20 years ago" when you're doing the same thing.

Since I did not recount a fond memory of times shared 20 years ago, I’m not sure what was meant by saying that I’m doing the very thing that I say people shouldn’t do. I never said they shouldn’t. I said I don’t understand why they’re inclined to.

As for me “talking smack against those who choose to remember” him, I can see how Mr. Cousin may have interpreted the post that way. Rereading other comments about the post, it appears that others regarded it that way as well. It was supposed to be a post about the “human condition,” and not an attack on anybody. Since the message that was received is not necessarily the message that I intended, it’s clear that I did not explain myself very well. I will try again, and it may be easier as I’ve had a similar situation come up since the initial posting.

My intended point was that, beyond the “Hey, I went to High School with that guy!” I’m not that impacted by his death. And I don’t understand how people, who haven’t seen him in 20 years, can talk about being stunned and saddened. They obviously are, I just don’t know why. Last week, I heard that Chris Motz (a good friend of mine in 3rd grade) died. I don’t feel stunned or saddened. Nor does that news make me more prone than usual to quietly reflect on the good times we had on the monkey bars and in the lunchroom. And why should it? Too much time has passed for me to be impacted by that news. My absence of grief doesn’t mean that I’m happy. It just means there’s no grief.

This post was hand-crafted especially for you by Kevin at 4:05 PM | 2 of the live studio audience members commented already

Apparantly, Blogger’s The Thinker has tagged me so now will be filling out the Give Me Five thing. So, sit back and relax, extinguish all smoking materials, set you cell phones to silent, buckle your seatbelt, return your trays to their upright position, and please…remain standing until the ride has come to a complete stop.

Five Things I Would Do If I Were A Millionaire:
Invest some of it
Put some of it into a 5 year CD
Put a large down payment on a house so that my house payment is only like $30 a month
Buy a new car
Open a bookstore and call it Pages.

Five Bad Habits:
Procrastination
Not giving 100% effort
Bite fingernails
Don’t floss
I interrupt people alot during conversations.

Five Things I Hate Doing:
Mowing the lawn
Waking up in the morning
Dealing with salespeople
Running errands for other people
Cleaning the toilet

Five Things I Would Never Do:
I would never murder the Canadian Prime Minister
I would never eat Blood Pudding
I would never not file my taxes
I would never impersonate a federal agent
And I will never, ever like Antonio Banderas

Five Things I Regret Doing:
Not going to the dentist.
Drinking a kitchen sink full of water.
Giving up on my Spider-Man comic book collection
Not following through on my Learn To Draw initiative
Not staying in contact with my best friend from high school

Five Favorite Things:
My wife
My 1st kid
My 2nd kid
My 3rd kid
Cheese Ravioli

Five People I Choose To Do This:
I won’t be forwarding this on, cuz I don’t know anyone who would do it.

A dibby dib dibbity dibby dibbity dib uhhhhhh that's all folks!

This post was hand-crafted especially for you by Kevin at 4:19 PM | 4 of the live studio audience members commented already

Here’s an interesting little report. The 100-Teen vs. 100-Parent Promiscuity Poll.

Not sure if it means that kids are disobedient or parents are clueless about what is really going on or what. All I know is that when I was 16, I engaged in a lot of these activities. The wheat side of me would like to say that my parents knew that the girl and I weren’t simply “studying and hanging out.” However, since I never got sat down and lectured to about what a terrible, dangerous game I was playing…I gotta go with the sugar side of me and say that they didn’t know.

I will say that I haven’t had a lot of sexual partners. Only 4. I never looked at sex as a way to pass the time when bored, or some kind of party game to play every weekend with whomever is around. I’ve used a condom every time I’ve had sex, except for those months when my wife and I were trying to get knocked up.

And now, I’m the parent. And I know my kids are going to bump uglies with someone before they graduate high school. To think differently would be silly.

I’ll agree that it’s probably more difficult today to be a parent when it comes to this topic than 20 years ago. My exposure to “the sex act” was limited to the occasional magazine that belonged to someone’s older brother. Now that there’s this new-fangled Interweb thingy, it’s about a trillion and one-sixth times easier to get the kind of exposure that – what? - glorifies? cheapens? the sex act. Sex is something that should be respected. It SHOULD be something that’s fun to do, of that there is no doubt. But it – and the person with whom you’re carnally entwined – should be respected.

This post was hand-crafted especially for you by Kevin at 11:57 PM | 2 of the live studio audience members commented already

On October 4, 2006 one of the people that I graduated high school with was killed by an IED while over in Iraq.

Since the story has been on the news and in the paper because, y’know, that’s what they do. Find a way to make the story impact us here locally, even though the last time he lived here was in 1988. Since then he’s been in NY, Iraq, and has been living in Seattle, WA with his wife.

I’ve seen news interviews with our high school teachers, seen newspaper articles where they get quotes from the former high school coaches, and just last night I read what some other classmates had to say “in memoriam” on the high school website, several of them being from people who haven’t seen or talked with him since graduation. However, I confess that I was more curious to see the people who might have posted something that what the content of the post was. There was one very well written piece by the current Asst. Principal, who was in our graduating class. He was the guy’s friend, and had continued to be very close with him in the years since graduation.

Me? I saw the news story and was like, “Hey! Well whaddya know? I knew that guy back in high school.” And that’s pretty much it. I simply don’t understand why people are inclined to stick something up on the school website that recounts fond memories of the times that were shared 20 years ago. That kind of thing should be for people who really knew this guy…his parents, wife, family, and friends of his…not from some John Q. Public who hasn’t seen the him in half a lifetime. The guy that died in Iraq is a different person than the guy I last saw 18 years ago at graduation on Saturday June 11, 1988.

This post was hand-crafted especially for you by Kevin at 2:59 PM | 6 of the live studio audience members commented already

I got nuthin. No story to share, no observation to report, no issue to discuss.

Thanks for checking in, though. Sorry to disappoint.

This post was hand-crafted especially for you by Kevin at 4:09 PM | 1 of the live studio audience members commented already

One of the companies that my company works with is conducting an online survey. This survey is all about asking opinions about music, media, personal entertainment and technology (streaming audio, satellite radio, iPods, etc). Anyone between the ages of 12 and 34 can participate in it. There are a few demographic questions, but you don’t have to answer these if you are uncomfortable doing so. It is important to me that you understand that this is 100% legitimate, and in no way will you be opening yourself up to identity theft, pyramid schemes, or anything negative like that. This is strictly for research purposes. There is an incentive prize: a $1000 Visa Gift Card. ONE participant will be awarded this prize. If that ONE participant was referred by someone else, then the participant AND the referring person will each get a $1000 Visa Gift Card.

If you DO decide to take this survey, all I ask is that you list Humble Tidbits of Vacuity as the person who referred you. If you want to refer someone else, then that person should list your name.

A couple of things you might want to know, if you are someone who is interested in doing this:

1. The survey takes about 15 minutes to complete, which feels like a long time. However, if you give up partway through the survey, anytime you go back to that link, it'll remember your place in the survey. So you can go back and finish it 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there. To those who maybe started the survey and didn't complete it, go back to the link- it'll pick up where you left off.

2. Much more important that actually taking the survey is the act of passing it on to others. Your odds of winning increase each time you pass it on. For example, if you take the survey yourself, you have a 1 in 2,400 chance of winning the $1,000 gift card. But if you take it and pass it on to 150 of your friends, family, people who read your blog, etc., you have a 151 in 2,400 chance of winning a $1,000 gift card (assuming everyone you refer puts you down in the "referral" field). It's kind of like buying 151 raffle tickets for the price of 1. So pass it on!

Here is an excerpt from one of the e-mails about this project that explains how the gift card will get to you, IF….IF IF IF you are the lucky winner:

“If they're the person who took the survey, we mail them the gift card (they provided a mailing address for us on the survey and that really is ALL it's used for). If they won by referral, we email them based on the name and email address of the referral the winner provided.”

Here is the link to the survey: http://www.opportunityresearch.info/youngsurvey. I’m told that it is valid until at least October 21, maybe another week if necessary. As long as you are able to get into the survey, it’s valid. They will close it when it’s full.

I know this sounds kind of weird, but I promise you that this is on the up-and-up. It’s simply a survey, and nothing more. If you might be interested, but have some questions you’d like to have answered before doing it, you can e-mail me by clicking the link in the upper right hand corner. I’ll be as straightforward as I can be without compromising the integrity of the survey.

Thanks for reading. We now return to our regularly scheduled blog.

This post was hand-crafted especially for you by Kevin at 12:08 PM | 1 of the live studio audience members commented already

There’s has been a “meme” circulating through several of the blogs that I read. It’s the one that asks the blogger to list 5 songs that they’d like played at their funeral.

I can’t help but laugh when I think of this because at my dad’s wake a year ago, the only song that was played was The Marine Corps Hymn…..over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. For three solid hours it went on. The only saving grace about it was that it wasn’t the version with lyrics.

This post was hand-crafted especially for you by Kevin at 4:20 PM | 0 of the live studio audience members commented already

Have you seen that new show HEROES? It’s on NBC. I saw the first show a little over a week ago and was impressed. It was an excellent show! It was intriguing, innovative, original, well thought out and had wonderful characterization.

And I’m never going to watch it again.

It’s just going to be another show where we, the audience, are handed little snippets of clues each week which will (eventually, like a season or two later) lead us to answer all of the mysterious questions like WHO are these people? WHAT are they supposed to do? WHERE is the bad thing? WHEN will it reveal itself? WHY have they all been brought together? HOW will they get by day in and day out? I just can’t invest the time an energy to watch every week and not get anywhere with those questions. And heaven forbid that you miss a week. You’ll never be able to recover.

Take LOST, for example. We’re…what?…3 or 4 seasons into the show and we still don’t know what’s truly going on? Each week whatever question is answered only yields 10 more questions. It’s ridiculous. There is one thing that I absolutely KNOW when it comes to the show LOST: those people will never be found. Because, if they’re found, you can’t call the show LOST anymore. It’s just going to be show after show after show with them on some huge ass island wondering, like the rest of us, just what the hell is going on.

I don’t want to feel like my TV holds me hostage.

Now, there are always exceptions. I watch Survivor and I watch The Amazing Race. While it’s true that these are the kinds of shows where it can be tragic if you miss one or (perish the thought) two episodes, there is a definite END to the show. At the end of the season, there is a winner and the show is over. It’s just one season long. I have no problem making that kind of commitment, because I know that I will be released from it.

HOUSE, M.D. is doing a good job with keeping MAJOR story lines in check. While there is somewhat of an ongoing story, it’s typically in the background and is easy to ignore in favor of the “affliction-of-the-week” story. If I miss an episode of HOUSE, I’m not going to be confused when I see the next episode. It’s just started Season 3 and I hope that it doesn’t turn into a soap. I’ll stop watching, I swear it.

This post was hand-crafted especially for you by Kevin at 2:50 PM | 1 of the live studio audience members commented already